Times like these

"I, am a one-way motorway

I'm the road that drives away

Then follows you back home

I, am a street light shining

I'm a white light blinding bright

burning off and on

it's times like these you learn to live again

it's times like these you give and give again

it's times like these you learn to love again

it's times like these, time and time again

I, am a new day rising

I'm a brand new sky

To hang the stars upon tonight

I, am a little divided

Do I stay or run away

and leave it all behind?

it's times like these you learn to live again

it's times like these you give and give again

it's times like these you learn to love again

it's times like these, time and time again."

                                         -David Grohl, Taylor Hawkins

                                                Nate Mendel, Chris Shiflett 2002

~

OH LOOK! It's a sighting of FERAL!

wait, wrong feral.

yes, I'm still feral. 

And that's not sugar.

Anyways,

so the news is I dont know what im doing right now. 

A little over the last two decades, my career as a Forestry Technician requires me to walk in the woods. This diary blog of sorts was dedicated to the premise that I would always be working in the woods, among all the other things that I do. It's what I do - I work in the forests of the United States. The nation's trees at times are under my care, assessing them for you, the Public Landowner. And as a woman in Forestry, starting in the late 1990s to the present, this is extremely important to future generations- representation matters. 

Working in the woods is my identifier, my identity. 

I, am just one of the reasons there is a Straight Lake State Park in Wisconsin- we collected the tree data the State of Wisconsin used in calculating an offer to purchase for the land. I am also just one of the few data collectors that were used in identifying the early stages of the Pine Bark Beetle invasion in the Black Hills Forest in South Dakota. And I am just one of many timber cruisers who have identified some of the oldest trees in Wyoming. Most importantly, I am someone who has recorded special areas, information so special that I will take their locations to my grave; so that endangered species will not go extinct due to illegal collecting and harvesting, indigenous holy places will remain untouched, and certain places aren't pillaged by looters, losing timeless history in the process. These are but a few of the projects I have worked on- there are so many more, both private and public lands. I have taken my work seriously, always. I have found cave holes, rattlesnake dens, mountain lions, bear sleuths, elk herds, animals that would tear your face off even though they're cute, meth labs, bog holes, old mine holes, thousands of cliff edges, unrecorded old-growth stands in the middle of nowhere, marshes where you jump from alder to alder, crazy-ass moose, lost hikers, atv'ers, lightning storms while 3 miles from the truck, the effects firsthand of environmental change, and idiots who just don't give a damn; the list goes on, but I always had a grin or a grimacing smile; not once did I want to quit. It's times like these, time and time again.

Then politics happened. Then the pandemic happened. Then time happened. 

And so this happened -  I am retiring from full-time Forestry.  

We all have to do this as we age, to progress to the next stage- it's natural. I know this because not only am I an observer of nature but also of human nature. Change is a reality, it's necessary, it's what keeps you alive and healthy, its the reason why you leave some people behind and seek out others, do certain things and not other things, be adaptable because there are always events we cannot control... we must be okay with change. 

To live is to change. To change is to live.

In Forestry, change comes in the forms of growing, reproducing, sheltering while facing adversity yet sharing good years...and finally, dying back, to make soil and room for the new generation to grow tall. 

We have more in common with trees than we realize.

So do I need advice on how to quit something that has been a part of my life for so long, to begin anew?  

Nah.  At my age, I got this.

I'm sheltering.

"it's times like these you learn to live again

it's times like these you give and give again

it's times like these you learn to love again

it's times like these, time and time again."

~~