Feral attempts to cook...

 so i have this zucchini squash that a neighbor generously snuck into my house...

thanks to the fact that im literate (thanks parents! so glad you thought going beyond 1st grade would be a plus for me!) 
and that i like pretty things, especially pretty food, 
there happened to be this recipe in Martha Stewart's magazine  -
i think this magazine is called "Living", 
but what would be the alternative to the name? "Dying"?
Dying for everyday living?  
I think they did good when they went with the title "Living"...
always good to stay on the positive side. you cant take it with you and 
no one wants to be around a deadbeat anyhow
i digress...usually...

so anyhow
theres these convenient picture cards that they put in every month,
that i have always found useful as bookmarks 
(shouldnt that be "magazine marks? magmarks? paper cardboardy things that are functional and multipurpose?!) 
but it wasnt until recently i noticed they had these recipes on them that I COULD ACTUALLY MAKE!

they didnt need a flambeau flame thrower or special oils from Madagascar or lemur fur. 
I made that part up about lemur fur.
i think.

Anyhow, it being a friday night and I had this zucchini to burn literally,

i thought "lets give this a feral try, shall we?"

so as you can see, for ingredients we needed -

extra virgin olive oil
spciy italian sausage
an onion
garlic cloves
coarse fresh bread crumbs
lemon zest
lemon juice
grated parmesian cheese
large egg, lightly beaten

well, i didnt really have those, except for the zucchini, so this is what i spastically collected in the kitchen

walnut oil (gosh i love TJ Maxx)
zucchini (YAY! I GOT THAT *as its waved around* )
frozen venison sausage (going on a year, bottom of freezer, hmmm)
onion (YES! I GOT THAT TOO!!! *kicks up a foot for emphasis*)
garlic powder (its garlic, right?)
partially opened bag for 2 months of Croutons (its SE Montana. Its a dry heat.)
frozen Lemon particles chunks (summer drinks? this could work)
frozen lemon particle chunks (drinks? looks like some liquid is frozen to the container)
brie (the only cheese in the house. we be cupboard-bare classy)
One large egg, slightly dropped (but i gotz more!!!   11 more! uh, 10 MORE!)

So immediately I thought, I can do this!!

But then it was at this point in order to continue , I realized that i needed my mothers secret ingredients.

pretty leaves. non-edible.
just thought we needed some more color to this post.

My mom was a working mom, an RN, and I was raised, well, differently during the 60's & 70's.  

At her funeral, we knew the priest didnt know her well when he went on how she liked to cook for the family.
uh, no.
Whose mother is in that urn? my sisters and i looked perplexed at each other.  Ours?

Ours liked to burn brush piles and travel.

she liked to eat out.

In hindsight, one of my favorite memories of my mom and recipes  is when we would sit down together to chat as adults  
she would bring out a bottle of white wine (black cat label from Germany!)
and a bottle of 7-up, and make us spritzers. 
Her ethnic version of white wine spritzers.
I remember her explaining to me, being the RN and all,
 that it was something along the line "we werent suppose to get as tipsy because it was cut with 7-up".

It did the opposite - the carbonation pushed that alcohol on speed dial to our brains.

forget the recipes, we'd go on to have a tough board game of scrabble.

we had fun.

that i remember.

And so the tradition lives on.


heres my version so i can cook too -

Yes, i didnt have any 7 up but i did have a pop can of Orange Crush.

it works.

My mom would be so proud.

So after a glass, and mixing and following the directions and not following the directions, improvising and then turning up the radio, 
and then wondering if i put something in so something might have gotten doubled, and another glass,

this is what we got out of the oven.

not bad, eh?

kinda looks like Martha's picture!

And so
this is where I  had a kitchen cooking thing epihany 

Did you know that there are 
centuries of generations of women 
who wanted people out working in the fields/office/workplace for a reason, and it wasnt for the work or money?


I think for sure it was because you certainly didnt want them to see what you were doing in the kitchen.

at least on my maternal side of the family.

another glass.

 So in the end, we do what we always do when we are not sure what its going to taste like (another idea from my mother)

-you slap a good dollop of sour cream on it - 

Mr. Foresterman said it was the best stuffed zucchini he ever had.


I knew he wasnt just saying that to make sure i try again, this kitchen cooking thing.

he actually had seconds.


I may have to go for the stronger stuff next time...



  1. THAT'S AMAZING!! Did Mr. Foresterman have a glass of that orange stuff, too?

  2. just laughing. loved it all the way through. :)

  3. Hee Hee Love it ~ my kind of cooking .
    Yup I am not a conventional cooker,
    but inventive and creative I am ( primarily so we don't starve) !

  4. First off Mr. Foresterman is one very lucky dude. Who needs Martha Living he has well Feral Creating..... oh yes Feral can see a photo of something beautiful and take all kinds of somewhat similar weird things throw them together and come out with something that truly looks just like Martha's picture only more beautiful if that is possible. How did you do that? Oh yeah it had something to do with the orange stuff didn't it:) That is truly a gift my friend.
    I do know your Mom would be very proud of her lovely talented feral little girl who learned a thing or two about the important things in life.

    I thought all food was black till I started cooking for myself my Mom was not a cook either and go figure we both can still make this cooking thing work while still being the great outdoor women we truly love to be..
    You do crack me up. Oh yes Mr. Foresterman is surely a lucky dude:) Go Feral yeah Alice :) Hug B

  5. looks and sounds pretty good to me, baked brie and venison?? YUMMM! Not so much the orange crus but hey , whatever works

  6. I like your mom..... Mine was/is June Cleaver/Betty Crocker ...... I knew I was doomed from the get-go.........
    This story had me falling over... You are great.....
    My husband would eat anything I cooked- because it is sooooo rare to happen and he knows asking for seconds & applauding my occasional efforts is the only way I'll go back to the kitchen.....except for candle making and similar crafting......
    Keep shining Feral Woman...... We need you.....
    Rain :)

  7. Feral cooking to me is improvising....and you do that well. Anyone can follow a recipe. It takes thinking outside the box to use what you have AND make it worthwhile! That is why CHOPPED and TOP CHEF make my day!

  8. Hmmmmm......maybe I should try your cooking aid next time I'm forced to head to the kitchen. Like tonight, and every night if somebody we know in this household had his way. Wonder if he'd notice the new methods?

    Actually, those do look good. I'm so tired of cooking and we seem to gravitate to the same old recipes.

  9. Howdy FW,
    I LOVE SQUASH SO I'M WITH MR. Foresterman on 2nds... I like your recipes and way of cookin'...
    You should see what Joyce concocts sometimes and IT'S ALWAYS SCRUMDIDILIICIOUS !!! Me and C'Harley, THE RED-HEELER just absolutely LOOOOOVE HER !!!!! Mr Foresterman is sooo lucky to have a cook like you and NOT Martha Striped-coveralls.....

  10. Oh the old zucchini needs a good home ploy, and you fell for it. But when life gives you zucchini, stuff it, cover it with cream and feed it to your family. Looks like a huge success story. Well done!

  11. Laughed all the way thru a great post, drinking my beer at the same time...

  12. Umm...I think it looks terrific! Just like the photo! It was edible, right? Then it rocks!

  13. Thank you for the big font ~ it makes my life so much easier. This sounds fabulous, your mother sounds like someone I would have loved to know, and I wish I had some sour creams since I have to cook beets today. Hubby is away and I have to do it: carrots, beets, and, yes, the last of the collard greens. OUCH!! I don't have Martha, but I do have The Joy of Cooking to help me.

  14. When life gives you zucchini... stuff it! Looks quite yummy actually. Good job on getting a request to make it again!

  15. Well, you certainly can take a simple recipe and turn it into an epic worthy of Homer (like the Odyssey). I'm impressed, by the story and the food. And that Mr, Foresterman asked you to make it again!

    I was expecting that a feral attempt at cooking would include an open wood fire on the range (without starting a brush fire). Perhaps you'll do that next time. (The outdoor cooking, not the brush fire.)

    Blessings and Bear hugs!

  16. I was with you right up to the orange soda. Which proves I'm only semi-feral. I can't believe how excited I get when I see a new post by you! Love, love, love them!

  17. Oh what a brave soul you are to try that! I agree that a dollap of makes almost everything taste better. Bet he really loved it!

  18. Tee hee hee... what fun reading!
    I should send you the card I made... once... years ago. It says: "I like cooking with wine. Sometimes I even put it in the food!"

  19. Thanks for stopping by, it's always so good to hear from you. You know, I wrote a whole post about cooking the greens on 10/11, and how my mind drifted around as I chopped them. I also wrote about my forgetfulness and then promptly forgot to post what I wrote. I found it yesterday and maybe I will post it now that I remember it.......

  20. hehe, they look awesome!! Martha recipes can be a challenge, but the results are always amazing!!

    I don't love to cook but I do love to eat!!

    Happy weekend!!

  21. Looks Great Will Have To Try this Recipe!

  22. I'm afraid if I had a drink and cooked I forget to cook and just drink.


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