Stand back peoples... im gonna... COMPLAIN!!!!!

I know, right? So here I am just tooling along, feeling better and better each day, taking my meds on time, resting when i should, trying to eat the right foods, tra la la'ing about Christmas, planning daughter weddings, forgetting about that ole' disease.... and then I get this ~

writing/highlight is by nurseperson; coffee stains mine.

its a directive for the first of many c-scans this year, at the 3 month marker. Since we decided to do the wait and see approach after I refused radiation, this is where the brick hits the road so to speak...brick? oh whatever...put something heavy in there to substitute....Anyhow these kind of letters makes me stomp when I walk, muttering, in a crazy "pushing a shopping cart full of kittens around in a Humane Society parking lot at midnight" sort of way.     never a good thing...

So its not exactly an invite, is it? did this poor person have a rough day or what? It has so many threatening underlinings, circlings, squarelings, highlights and one severe exclamation point that I was tempted to call the FBI ~ 

Did they forget that I am a humble (well, almost, since having a blog kinda reduces..well...nevermind) self employed Timber Cruiser who lives 3 hours away, with a huge yearly deductable - I have to pay for this threatening visit. They be expensive dates with no gourmet meal, no cheese, but lots of whine on my part...I'd rather have a new slabby-sided pony gelding I can ride comfortably, thank you. But I "get back on the fat pony" so to speak and I read on. What I read makes me irritated, because I DONT WANT A TWO DAY MEDICAL VACATION IN FEBRUARY ~

they make the c-scan at 8:20 AM - but tell me I have to do labs and pick up the contrast and drink it 90 minutes BEFORE ...which means ~

IF I dont spend the time and money to arrive there the day before, then I have to get up and get dressed and leave by 3:50 AM , drive 3 hours to be there at 6:50 to pick up the contrast (are they even open then?), start drinking it for breakfast and getting my blood drawn - which the lab doesnt even open until 7:30 - this makes ME start to wonder if they also left surgical tools inside me from surgery if they couldnt figure this simple appt thing out 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE - giving me just one more issue to fret about when i get some funny pain when i first lay down in bed at night and wonder "am i going to die?!!" then stay up all night so I dont miss a thing if i die. 

So anyhow, I dont think so.

but im on it like a HAWK - maybe this is a test from them to see if Im coherent?

So after a few work phone calls to exercise my "but i AM a nice person" muscle, I give them a call...and ALL the nurses are gone, theres no doctors in ..and I get the tiniest little voice on the other end saying shes just filling in - she sounds like shes 11 years old - great...they hire someones 11 year old daughter so people like me have to be REALLY patient and be a nice patient when all the doctors and nurses scatter for their Christmas Parties and vacays on a FRIDAY unlike some of us (yes, that is massive petty jealousy and ugly envy in my voice - here at our office of 2 self-employed married to each other people we do not have Christmas office P.A.R.T.I.E.S!!!!  we work to pay MEDICAL B.I.L.L.S!!!!   ! (extra exclamation point for dramatization...wait, maybe me and this nurseperson who wrote this out have a lot in common... ?! )  and can you actually put parentheses inside of parentheses? "I break all boundaries!!! aaarrrr!!!" says the creative writing blog-pirate with the really nice boots). So I briefly explain the situation, and lo and behold, she's not only old enough to understand, but she ACTUALLY changes the appt to a later time on the same date, all with a sunshiney attitude...and the icicles of envy and jealousy melt in my ice-y humble (well...nevermind) tiny grinch-y heart. But then i remember-

"can you please include my allergies where it is blank under allergies? I have a doozy one that almost killed me and put me in ICU awhile back, im not sure why its not listed" - another story another post - but this is why I eyeball every pill like its going to grow legs and pull out a cannon to get me. You can imagine that while I was in the hospital this last time I might have been just a little edgey when the night nurses did their 3 am visits with drugs - thats why I made Mr. Foresterman sleep in the lazy boy there...for five days...yes, he is a saint.

"Oh sure, no problem!" she singsongs back in a cheery little bluebirds flying voice...So after I fight off the temptation to spell out the one really big medicinal word to snow white here, I am done, and its over, and its all correct. And im annoyed because I ended up with nothing to really complain about...this is going to take work, peoples.

Its going to feel like a really lonnng life if i have to do this each time.

but maybe thats their strategy?

shrugs shoulders, starts planning a first annual Christmas Office Party for two *


Country Christmas Feral decorating at its finest...!



  1. You should have an office party for your saintly husband/partner. And the crazy thoughts you get when you have a pain are unfortunately normal. I had a breast lump removed in 1987 when I was 29 years old, and whenever I strain myself doing something I'm not supposed to and feel a pinch near my breast or underarm, I start to get nervous, then have to think, ok, what did you do today? Why is that we have to fight for what we want all the time, why can't the people we pay for a service figure it out.

  2. Oh definitely an office party for you and St. Foresterman! You can wear silly hats and make ice cream laced with Kaluha and forget for a couple of hours about mean ole nurses with highlighter pens and exclamation points. And be thankful for little office birds who make things go smoothly, and remember that yes, Santa really can find you way out in the back of beyond.

  3. For a woman who can complain like that (it was beautiful :) and decorate an animal skull like that (it is stunning!) you deserve an office party for two... sounds a LOT more fun that a roomful of way over 200 ( I just attended a "hospital" party) ... I'll take your cozy celebration any day.

  4. I think the word is vent that is what you did and I think this is the best place for it.
    as for your office party have a good one with your Forestman.

  5. I agree Office party it should be .I don't think you are whining , once in a while it would be nice when they schedule this type of appointment for them to consider the PATIENT"S ADDRESS

  6. I didn't hear any whining, I would love to come to your Christmas party but darn.....just can't find you out there....where are you again:)

  7. fwiw,"muttering, in a crazy "pushing a shopping cart full of kittens around in a Humane Society parking lot at midnight" sort of way" just made my day! I'm gonna laugh about that one for a while.

  8. All I hear is a leveled headed gal expecting a dose of understanding and consideration for her exceptional situation.. not asking to much in my book.

    I love the way you express your self in a Erma Bombeck sorta way.. you definitely should write a book, it just might pay some bills.

    Party on.. be well n happy, Missy FW :)

  9. thanks for taking us along on the ride - even before you go anywhere! slab-sided pony or pick-up truck or just a roller-coaster of emotions. either way, the ride is always interesting!

    glad you got your appt. changed! 11 yr old, bluebird-voiced, fill-in. ha!

  10. What a great post -- it is so great to let it all out even if it leaves you with no complaint at the end. Which is the purpose of letting it out, after all. I had breast cancer in 1999, so a long time ago. It still hurts everywhere around where they did the lumpectomy and radiation, even in my bones. So maybe better to try to get a good nights sleep so you can really enjoy your life the next day. BAD thoughts come at 3:00 a.m. so you will not be missing much. Sending hugs.

  11. I got stuck at the shopping cart of kittens in the Humane Society parking lot at midnight! LOL
    You do have a way of really helping us understand!!
    I'm so glad you got it changed - and that the 'little girl' could make it happen!
    Enjoy your office party :-)

  12. I must say I am laughing. Is that rude to laugh at sick people? I am so happy the 11 year old helped you so much maybe everyone should hire 11 year old people, that is just before they become teenagers and way before they can go to said Christmas parties and forget about the people they are supposed to help while they are drinking the punch.
    You are going to have fun at that two person Christmas party but just a warning "Stay away from the punch"
    Everything is going to work out Feral I am praying and we know that works. Keep smiling keep laughing. HUGS B

  13. I am glad to read your thoughts I must say you humour and talented writing is still very much intact.
    I do want you to sleep because I told you you will be fine I know it, you may need that stored sleep later.
    Take care my friend. I wish we lived closer I am awake at those weird hours also then we can have some punch or I mean tea, and talk. I really have to move to Montana. B

  14. I am a nurse...I work midnights...I didnt get a christmas party , a bonus, or even a cookie...And I have to work 12 hours on Christmas, and pass the meds that are ordered by the doctor
    Im nice though....sigh....Oh well...Merry Christmas

  15. Stay focused and it will all work out! Glad to see you are keeping your sense of humor!

  16. I think any of us who have dealt with the medical establishment have been through this a few times, but you tell it so well and I relate so perfectly.

  17. I love it!! All the way from the kittens in a shopping cart to the 11 year old nurse.

    But glad they got your appointment changed and I think you should have a Christmas Party, I always was sad we never had a Christmas Party for our ranch, so you inspired me and we will have one too :))

  18. I like your style! And your Christmas decoration is beautiful too!

  19. Oh girlfriend, you are awesome! You can complain all you want! You deserve it. I know those CAT scans are important but expensive, I'm still paying on a CAT scan and PET scan. Gonna take me a year or so to get it paid off. Your door decorating is awesome, and the cart full of kittens had me cracking up! Hang in there, you and that Saint of yours; better to have the scans and be safe than sorry! I personally want you around a long time!!!!!

  20. I must maintain my sense of humor......I must maintain my sense of humor......I must maintain my sense of humor...............I must maintain my sense of're the best feral woman.........

  21. love the decor, definatly have to have the Christmas party for two, and medical staff have no clue about "real life," at least not the uppity ones. I guess I have finally found a reason, just one, to regret my move from Billings. If I were still living there, I could have offered you a place of comfort to stay when you have to be in town for those absurdly early appointments.

  22. Hate that you have to deal with all this "stuff", but, hey, it's not until February, right? Just sit it on the back burner as long as you can! As Scarlett O'Hara says, "I'll think about that tomorrow!"

  23. An office party for two. Love it! Sorry about the rest, but glad they fixed it.

  24. And it's a beautiful Country christmas feral decoration at that!

    Hope all goes well from here on out -

  25. Lordy Woman - Where to start. Sounds like me taking care of my Mother-in-laws "FREE" ($420) ride from one therapy clinic to the other, within a five minute drive. hmmm, maybe I'll blog about it! (I was trying to {use double parenthesis} the other day)and I did it like that. Hey there are all kinds of cute thingys on the computer to use for parenthesis {[(like these)]}
    I quit going to a Dr. one time because of his help staff. No - wait a minute - yup, twice I quit going to a Dr. because of the "help" staff. And I'm not talking about the nurses. At least you got to talk to a real person. And she speaks English. Great start! OK - I'll stop now...have a great day. Get some rest.

    Cindy Bee

  26. Just dropped by from Buttons blog.
    Whine...where? Logical complaint more like. I would have asked that they sent another letter confirming the details of the phone discussion and I would also have written down the "11 year old's" name as well as relevant details like the time and date of the phone call. I'm surprised you contained your composure so well :)!
    Love your decoration at the end of this post and the Christmas Office Party for 2 sounds great!! You do need the cracker bon bons with the funny hats though ;P.

  27. That was a frustrating appointment notice you received. They ought to be able to look at your home address and put 2 and 2 together and schedule you later in the day. But I'm glad the little voice on the other end of the line was able to help. Have that office party for 2 and plan to treat yourself to something pretty when you go to that appointment.

  28. I think you handled that beautifully! I hope she actually wrote down the changes! Think I would call and confirm the week before - if they don't. Sounds really appetizing. NOT!

    Party for two sounds very nice! I love your decoration!!!

  29. Love the idea of your two person office party..just no Xerox scans of your butts, please ;)
    Oh what the's your party.

    The medical community has a mission- annoy/confuse/exasperate us so badly.. we can't die!

  30. ..... :-) Glad it all got changed.
    Super love your Feral Christmas decorating - LOL!


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