now i know...

how tagged animals feel -  

today i was at the billings clinic, getting admitted for tomorrow at 12:40 pm. They did an EKG, drew some blood, asked questions and I had a final consult with the young surgeon wonder. He said they will have a pathologist standing by, to check the lime sized monster out ASAP in case surrounding stuff needs to be removed. They said to 2 to 5 days stay, and i asked for a room with a view. Then i was told to go get some sleep, and "see you in the morning'. 

Tonight i sit at the Country Inns and Suites.  The airport is down the road.  Im tempted.

This all started exactly one month ago.  On October 12th I went in for a regular physical. I try to be regular with my exams, because in 2001 I was diagnosed with severe Endometriosis, severe enough to have had a total hysterectomy with endometrial tissue cauterized off of my pelvis walls; all of this putting me in early menopause.  

But I am not a disease, i am Gowest Feralwoman, and so I get regular checkups to make sure it stays that way. I try to exercise, eat right, and be conscious of what I do.

During my regular annual exam just one month ago, the Doctor felt something, and ordered a C-scan.  For some reason i asked the clinic if i could possibly have that scan that day, as i had to go back to work in the Black Hills. For some reason they could fit me in. I drank contrast as fast as I could, and got the IV dye treatment, and laid in a tube.  Three days later, while in the Black Hills working, I received a phone call from the Doctor himself, telling me they found a 4 cm lime sized mass. Not where he felt that odd ridge on my left side, but on my right side, near my pelvic rim. "It is so good that you had this scan, to catch it this early."   Endometriosis has been linked with Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma. Funny thing is, I dont feel sick. no symptoms.

And now I sit, telling myself again that I am not a disease, but Gowest Feralwoman. 

always.

No matter what they find out tomorrow.

~