slap me upside the head if I ever complain. really. ow.

This is a chandelier....that we have in our  Master Bath.  Sometimes I feel like I live on a Movie set and that Grace Kelly or Ava Gardner are going to walk in at any minute and tell me to mind the dishes from the dinner party they just had downstairs and would I mind picking up their laundry now?...
It can be overwhelming to have a chandelier in your bathroom. "Can i live up to its expectations???" 

It hangs next to this really bright skylight, 
and a fancy built-in hickory cabinet made by an talented Amish guy named Eddie...for real.  He made all the cabinets in the house.  I cant make this stuff up...its like its a talent or something - "attracting the unusual"...yep, thats us...

Our Master Bath has a chandelier, a skylight, and I am a spoiled brat who does not deserve the goodness of a in-floor heating system. But i do like to grovel on it with my unworthiness when its on.  Sister Victoria from 3rd Grade would approve. I loved Sister Victoria - she was one of those nuns who actually liked kids, and wasnt into permanent suffering for 8 year olds - shed plink you with her finger rather then the ruler open palm bit - less suffering, and quick. I named my pet gerbil after her....Anyhow,

It also has one of these ~

 This is a control panel.  I dont touch it.

It controls the 5 headed hot steam dragon shower - but since Im still making friends with the radiation making microwave downstairs, I just peek in at this shower and wave to let it know I am friendly and unarmed.  Once Im on a speaking level with the microwave, then i figure I can begin by some small talk with this control panel , working my way up to actually pressing lightly on a button -  i need to read its "so magical that its in a different language" handbook that explains how to tame it first.  However I am positive that it makes hot steam like a happy dragon, and it has multiple spraying water thingys to actually take a shower:  Mr. Foresterman likes it, and it likes him.  I dont interfere.

This is where I get cleaned up. Its somewhat  like an amazing out of body experience each time I take a bath. I dont know what I did to deserve this, but after groveling on the infloor heating system, this bath pretty much takes care of the cleansing of my mind, spirit and soles.  Did I tell you? I adore this bath. A*D*O*R*E ... It could tell me to balance my "strung out like teeny tiny christmas lights" of a checkbook,  remark that my favorite shirt is a color that might be seen better in a different light - "like at midnight", and ask me if I have been eating too much lately because "your muffin top is not settling in a good way" and I would still ADORE it...

It has views, it has hot water, it has that bubbling action. AND it tolerates me!
If the issue ever arises, and I could only take one thing out of a burning house, it would be this bath. 
Though getting through the door might be hard. I might need to work on an escape route.

Anyhow, theres also a nice potty next door with
its own sink... 
Since we work in the woods,
 I didnt realize there was a sliding door for privacy 
until recently...

I especially like this little area to do my nightly ritual of rubbing organic stuff onto my face, and in the morning putting more organic stuff on my face... It has a quite a holding area for more organic stuff for my face. Organically.

Theres also more storage space above the 5 headed steaming dragon shower. If one was creative  enough they could buy things from Amazon and hide them from their Mr. Foresterman up there until it could be eased into the household without raising suspicion.  Not that I would know.

 And finally, we saved the best for last.  If there ever was a marriage to be saved, I would truly recommend to them first before they enter into therapy that they must have his and her sinks.  Double sinks make happy marriages. I think they should be handed out as wedding presents. Seriously.  Ask anyone at Home Depot or Lowes or Menards - they actually have seminars for bathroom marriage recovery projects and they have statistics on how these sinks just "fly out the door", thereby saving marriages within a 180 mile radius of their store, and encouraging their revenue.... ... ... Okay, they dont actually call it marriage recovery projects, but they got them "flying out the door" statistics, so they know - those disagreements about that misguided chunk of toothpaste, or long thready hair strands, or little beardy hair bits scattered about in a sink bowl that affect lives in a serious way - they know - so they promote the two sink lifestyle in their ads, hinting at "you take care of yours + i'll take care of mine + no peeking = very romantic lifestyle. " ...And them sinks just fly right out the door. So next time before you think like I did of buying a Neil Sedaka tape and the makings for two tall diet root beer floats to put some extra passion in your marriage - consider two sinks instead.  Mr. Foresterman and I certainly like them!

So why am I showing you all this TMI stuff?

 Well, I just ordered wallpaper, the trim needs to be finished, and the walls painted.  Since I know this most likely will be an interesting (read- "bizarre, maybe accident inducing")  project because I'm involved, I will want to share the pain of the "after" survival pictures sometime later this spring... then you can tell me exactly how you really feel about parakeet wallpaper...before my adored bathtub



  1. Beautiful bathroom and lovely cabinets.what more is there to say except i am mrs bathroom jealous today

  2. Just lovely. Wonderful cabinets and is there anything more relaxing and laying in a tub and having a view. Good luck with the wallpaper and paint.

  3. So Feral do you rent it out? I am sure I could live in your bathroom for a week and think of it as my vacation. Let me know. Parakeets? OK B

  4. What was that about slapping you silly if you ever complained? I cannot (and would NEVER) do it but, girl... with a beautiful bathroom like this, not a single person should be allowed to complain. Slapping silly makes sense. LOL

    Absolutely gorgeous!

  5. STUNNING bathroom. I don't usually feel envy, but oh that tub!
    His and Hers sinks? I'm not sure about that..a test of love is accidentally spitting your toothpaste on your husband's head. ;)

  6. love the organic gardening section... :) yup, now we've got the goods on you - no whining, crying, whimpering, complaining, from you ever again!

  7. I could easily live in that bathroom of yours! Just add a mini fridge and it's all good!

  8. Wow ! that is stunning! What a beautiful bathroom! Makes mine look a bit pathetic

  9. What a fantastic bathroom... I'm not sure I'd ever leave it! I MISS our jetted tub from our prior house... in fact the entire bathroom. We haven't tackled anything in our bathroom at Red Gate Farm because it's the only one we have and will be planning a mission to the moon to try to remodel it while still being able to use it :)


  10. Fiction: Oh, my dear, I think parakeets would go just lovely in there!

    My opinion: Don't screw around with this absolutely beautiful fantasy bathroom, by putting up wall paper! JMHO!

  11. There's nothing feral about that bathroom. I want me one of those. LOL

  12. Can I move in with you?
    Your bath is beautiful - opulent - luxurious.... what other adjectives shall I add?
    Love, love, love the view!!!

  13. ur funny.

    beautiful bathroom...not sure i'd enter the dragaon shower either!

    beautiful view out your bath window~

  14. Wow gorgeous bath! I would never want to leave that room!!!

  15. Just wow! You are one lucky lady; and don't you dare put up parakeet wallpaper! If you like them so much get real ones!
    Seriously, I hope you live in that house a looooong time- I know I would. I had to laugh about the beard bits and long stringy hair- sounds like me and Ted! We share a very tiny bathroom.

  16. Ummm, I've just got to say that you'd never ever ever ever ever pry my cold dead body (wait maybe it would stay warm?) out of that tub! That is my biggest complaint about this house. We have an itty bitty tub. I'm wranglin' for a hot tub in the back yard. Anywho, I LOVE THE TUB!

  17. Wow I love that bathrooom! And I too agree about his and hers sinks, we dont have them becuase our bathroom is way too small, but I sure would love them...and that tub, although I may not want to share that either.

  18. Beautiful! Your new place is so beautiful!!!! I liked your old house but this one is really cool and I would never get out of the tub, I would sleep in that
    tub! I am so ready for a new remodeled bathroom. I love that you share with us and thanks!

  19. Thank you so much for stopping by and becoming a follower! I really appreciate it.
    Can't wait to see more of your pictures!

  20. I am in love with your bathroom. Seriously

  21. Now that is what I call a Master Bath, you can slap me for turning green with envy :)
    I feel like I just watched an episode on HGTV. It's simply wonderful!

  22. Whaaaaaat?! You are one lucky girl!

  23. I just came in from working in the greenhouse. Can I come over and scrub up in yer fancy privvy? Dang, girl! It's nicer than my house! Take a nice bubble bath in honor of the rest of us who suffer with the ordinary. :) Just kidding- it is very pretty! It actually looks like something from a magazine.

  24. Oh I’ve missed you Feral Woman!! I am so envious of this bath--it is phenomenal!!! I agree with you---it is Hollywood worthy and I would say you deserve it and all it’s love and pampering. I am particularly fond of that beautiful tile too. I can’t wait to see your wallpaper extravaganza and I feel certain the tub will give a thumbs up too :)

  25. Gorgeous! We have Amish neighbors who do beautiful cabinetry also. Love them.

  26. Beautiful house! Your bathroom chandelier is kind of similar to the 2 we have in our living room.


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