"Feral ~ from feminine of ferus wild: having escaped from domestication and become wild"...




Monday

titled "what I did on my summer vacation"... or "I procrastinate better then Satan's minions on a snowball day in hell"

Well, here I am. Okay. yep. guilty as charged.  
What is exactly an update if you dont update?

a feral update.  


Im sure the comments will get a little vitriol,
 but seriously Im gonna ask for a reprieve from you all...
as its been... a little different here.

as usual. 

Here is an obligatory cat photo to hold back/slow down the pitchforks and torches -




so whats been happening in the last two months?

do you care?

Thats okay im gonna tell you anyways.

well.

I did notice that some of you quit my blog act 
and 
took off to parts unknown because im not on a non-feral schedule. 

"Please come back. please" 
*said in a soft willy wonka gene wilder version voicetone*

Now that we got that awkwardness out of the way, think of the rest of this blog as me talking to you in a Fran Drescher Nanny voicetone. Those that will stay I will then consider my truest friends. All one of you. not including family.


SOOOoooo...

My wonderfulest oldest got married to a most wonderful man, and it was a wonderful three day party - I think I had fun. I know I definitely was made fun of the morning after.  that i remember. Then We went on a 15 state tour in less then 4 days in a three car caravan pulling a uhaul which I will duly note we were driving in probably what is considered the weirdest states in the USA...And theres a specific one I would consider as a substitute for hell... because it was 109 f. At night.  But then on this whirlwind vacation wannabe we also visited family members in drive-by sporadic visits. "What stinks in three days?  fish and guests" was our motto, so it was all short and sweet; hardly had to change the sheets or the bathroom after us. we were gooood guests. so id like to think.


remember think Fran Drescher voicetone - still here? you love me! 

*gives awkward hug

So I have lots and lots of interesting blog/freak story fodder to share with all one of you and not including family members in the future weeks. Anyhow, After we got back from the 15 states in 4 days tour, the fun never ended - We got together with the local good neighbors (local, which means within a 25 mile span) for a potluck community dance where I was enamored with a food oriented corgi x for most of the night when I wasnt dancing with Mr. Foresterman. This did mentally scar me so then for the next couple of weeks I looked at puppies/dogs at all animal shelters within 250 miles, but corgis x's are backordered around here, so sadly i do not have one. yet. Then to continue the local fun, We also went to a rodeo where I had to convince the light beer pusher lady that I wanted to buy a "straight" budweiser, not bud light.  three different times. The third time I was defensive and wanted to ask "WHY YOU ASK ME THIS? AM I BLOATED?!!" but i held back - after all i was drinking the bud that actually had alcohol in it. They also played a Whitney Houston song during the bull-riding portion  -  it was weird but it worked - only three riders managed to stay on very agitated bulls for the first 8 seconds then one very angry flippant bull got loose out of the arena to cross the highway and run through a few backyards... then down to the river for a drink (however the light beer pusher lady's selling radius was within the grounds.  But if she was down by the river...). Took all three of the pickup riders there to bring him back.  I have never been to a rodeo that plays whitney houston, expects you to drink light beer, and then you sit with 100 other people staring at an empty arena for a half hour while they look for bulls - Montana can be very different when it wants to and yet somehow it all works. it was memorable. 


"And IIIIIIII will ALLLLLwayys LOOOOVe yoooouuuuuuooo" 
 Go Fran GO!

errr
Come back!! all one of you and including family members!!!
Im not done YET!

Moving on to weird health doom that i seem to be rare famous for I then had a fast growing lump (probably from traveling at the speed of light through 15 states in 4 days' thing... or the straight budweiser...or petting a corgi x too much... or all of the above) removed from my thigh with a large punch-y implement that looked like something you use in scrapbooking when wanting to cut through cardboard. Mr. foresterman gasped. He was in the room to keep my mind off of the impending punch and stitch thing. FYI for all you who ever want to help family members with this type of stuff - The gasp didnt help.   I then was shocked when the doctor said I couldnt move the 250 lb entry doors we were suppose to put in that we just picked up - two years after the wildfire.  However, I could do scaffold work to fix the water damage on the 20 ft ceiling from our wildfire burned roof...if I didnt tell him.  I didnt. They also said I can take out my own stitches if things come back okay, because, well, Montana. Its been 9 days, 5 days to go...but like a very worn down loved 51 year old stuffed little animal I havent popped open yet so thats good.  And thats how we measure health status around here...

And oh yeah -

BTW

we also had 
a violent supposed to be registered sex offender whose a 
one legged "shot off by a StateTrooper last year" convicted armed burglary felon 
wanted in Two States 
hiding/living down the road from us this Spring and Summer.

without us all knowing who he really was. 

we all know now.

just the usual that everyone Im sure experiences in their neighborhood.

if you live on the tv show set "Longmire".

...
...
...


"all the worlds a stage, and we are just merely players"
heh heh heh!

¯\_(ツ)_/¯


~

65 comments:

  1. good to know you're still alive and functioning! good luck w/ the 'punch test' results! us 51 yr old former wisconsinite women have to stick together, so i'm still here. :)

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  2. my one true friend!!! you visited!!!
    got results back this afternoon - benign WOO WOO!!!
    xoxox

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  3. "and they lived happily ever after" You forgot that part. Good news. xoxoxoox friend #2 here Tex beat me:):) I would never desert you you crack me up and are good for my soul. xoxo Hug B

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    Replies
    1. can i be good for you now? or do we have to wait for the afterlife for that soul thing?

      xoxo

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  4. I'm sure you have at least half a dozen non-deserting friends--of which I am one!!

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    1. enough to have a BBQ? or a Poker card party...?

      Xoxox

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  5. GW Feral Woman,

    Yeehaw!!!! Good to see you back in rare form :-)
    First let me start by saying Congratulations on your Daughter's wedding, and Congratulations on inheriting a new son in law.
    Now that's what I call a gorgeous picture. You always leave us in ah with your photographs:-)
    A rodeo has to have good beer, cowboys, horses, and bulls............do we need to come from TX and OK and show them there in MT how to have a rodeo? You know I have friends in high and low places, lol....... Just teasing!!!
    I hope all is well with your thigh, and
    In less than 5 days you'll be able to play doctor, and remove those stitches with help from hubby.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sometimes I think we all need a little intervention from Texas and Olkie...:D

      we are leaving the hubby out of the stitch removal; one gasp is enough...

      xoxo

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  6. Yer back! "Bout time. Thought I was going to have to head down there and make sure cats and horses were all getting looked after. Cause you just never know.......
    Glad your removed lump was benign.
    Congratulations on the new son-in-law. And where are the wedding pics?

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    Replies
    1. wedding pics coming soon! animals are alive! stitches are itchy!
      :D
      xioxo

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  7. Welcome back - you were missed! Enjoyed this post - congrats on the wedding! boo but congrats on the good news on your leg (punch)... ah Montana Rodeo!

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    Replies
    1. Lori, today i woke up with no catholic girl guilt - but that was my own family's doing on "when are you going to blog, MOM?"- It was freeing to not hear that in a facebook post. I must blog more to free my soul out of writers purgatory...;)

      Thanks for the welcome back - It makes me smile!!

      xoxo

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  8. I'm still here, but also on the missing bloggers list as my blog posts have really slowed down. Love your writing and happy to here the test is benign.

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    Replies
    1. Teri, as long as you dont wait until the nigerians raid your blog and put ads on it for viagra, you be okay on your blog vacation ;) IMO

      xoxo

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  9. holy crap! that is a busy summer. I got hung up on the Light beer and Whitney Houston at a rodeo thing but wow! Glad you are here to blog about it all

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    Replies
    1. I asked mr. foresterman if we will ever have a normal life...he paused... "no" ;p

      xoxo

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  10. Wow- you have indeed been a busy girl! Glad you are ok, health-wise, and congrats to your oldest on the wedding. Creepy about your neighbor..I heard someone talking the other day about having a s-x offender living in their neighborhood, and how the police came by to let her know, as I think they should. Whitney Houston at a rodeo..oh heck no!

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    Replies
    1. Well since this guy never registered (that wanted in two states thing must have held him back) no one would have known. Until he went door to door looking for prescription drugs :o ! So glad that the police did let her know...and the whitney houston thing was definitely memorable though, gotta hand that to them!!! lol

      xox

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  11. Glad to read your post - I tried the Fran voice - my Wisconsin accent can't do that one....what I can do is Chris Farley - so when you were telling us the story of bull and Bud Light lady - .....I read that in his voice....SNL - "in a van - down by the river..." Hey, you started the voices....

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    Replies
    1. uh dickybird, I think you just revealed a little too much of your "fun" side LOLOLOL

      xoxo

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  12. as an after thought....the sex offender wasn't "living in a van down by the river"....was he...

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    Replies
    1. Nope in a neighbors house with their young daughters - he happened to be a relative...definite longmire material...

      xox

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  13. So glad to have you back amongst us. I have missed your wonderful and sometimes goofy stories of life in Montana. I would be right there with you if I could do the time from October to April on my lonesome. Or...maybe I just need to move there and find Mr Lonesome. Preferably not the guy you had living down the road. You need to send that script to Longmire. I know they take a lot of poetic license, but it sure shows off your beautiful state with Big Sky magnificence. So glad you have rejoined us....was missing the feral way.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. And we missed you too :)

      Actually I think you could survive here for a winter, and I dont think you would be very lonesome for long - its the hardy ones that are in demand!

      xox

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  14. Replies
    1. Well, sometimes it wasnt so wonderful, But I survived what life threw me this Summer! :)

      xoxo

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  15. I've been a lurker (not a stalker - there's a difference) here for the past few years, and have to say that I missed you this summer. I've been eager to hear how a planned elopement works, and am looking forward to wedding pics. I'm also trying to figure out how to drive through 15 states in 4 days....are these 15 different states or did you drive through 7 of them on the way there, and then the same 7 on the way back (counting your target state as number 15)? Glad to hear your leg (and the rest of you) are fine! Taking out your own stitches is fun in a weird, slightly pathological way...oh, and husbands that gasp are on par with a doctor who asks "would you like to watch"....brings out the Jersey girl in me "Oh no you dint!"

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    Replies
    1. Oh randomrovr, welcome ! you be so brave!

      And have I ever got a post for you coming up; I might even include some maps...even i at one point while a passenger woke up to ask "what state am i in? "state of consciousness?" ;p

      xox

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  16. I understand the posting lapse's! My blog has gone very stagnant right now too! I have so much to talk about, but yet, can't do it, Yet!

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    Replies
    1. yes. you can relate then! there were weeks where I wouldnt even visit my own blog LOL!

      oxox

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  17. See, loads of us!
    Glad the lump was benign. There has been something about the moon that has interfered with blogging this year. Or maybe the stars. Or something.

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    Replies
    1. could be the neighbors...you never know!

      xoxo

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  18. Glad to know you are alive and well! Sounds like you have had a busy summer and full of action. I totally pictured the Fran voice. Now I can't get it out of my head. LOL.

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  19. Hmmm. Feral. Feral. I USED to know a Feral Woman.... :) Very glad you are still with us (and we with you). Sounds like you have a virtual War and Peace worth of material with which to enthrall us. And also sending you every ounce of good vibes I have that your 'stuffing' was nothing but that. xoxo

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    1. Ah Susan: I would be a pet chicken in your hen house or a goat in your backyard any day - you always know the right thing to say :) xoxo

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  20. I don't comment very often, but I always read your blog and wouldn't dream of leaving. Welcome back.

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    1. Thank you Terry - you be one of the bravest followers I have!

      xoxo

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  21. Maybe if you didn't lead such a boring life you would be more motivated to write. Geez, is that all you did? I'm glad you have started thinking about all the people out here who get great entertainment from your posts.

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    1. Geez Lori, if i had anymore excitement this summer my heart would have left me and hidden in the garage...

      And yes, thinking of you all waiting...staring....maybe i will go join my heart in the garage now

      ;p

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    2. forgot to add "xoxox" in closing to my favorite artist teacher in the world!!!

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  22. WHAT!!! No pictures????? I was wondering when you'd get back to us. Sounds like a doozy of a summer. Sure hope your leg heals up nicely.

    Leave you, dear girl? No way in heck.

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    Replies
    1. now wait a minute - you got the obligatory cat photo...:P

      It has been an eventful summer...but it was the first time in my life that I became the normal neighbor - compared to "who" ! :o !


      xoxo

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  23. Oh, Feral, how I have missed your posts! with their incredible wit! fascinating vocabulary and unbelievable content! Welcome back. I hope the punch needle results come back A-OK.

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    Replies
    1. we be benign!... but now my head is growing with all those compliments you gave me....

      Hope your tree is doing good!

      xoxo

      Delete
  24. You're still on my blogroll! Been waiting and waiting for you to pop up again and then I left the state and got busy and stuff. Glad you are still forked side down and kicking. Also glad you survived the wedding and the trip, sorry about not finding a Corgi. I totally understand the weirdness of a rodeo like that. That's how we do things here too. Not the beer though. Dry town. But the nachos are huge and the fry bread is to die for. Had a doctor punch a chunk out of the side of my face but I made the spouse stay home until it was over. Stitches are out. Now I have a Harry Potter/pirate scar to brag about. Gotta go. Be back later.

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    1. Leenie I WANT TO BE ON YOUR BLOG ROLL FOREVER!!!! and i love visiting your etsy site; one day , one day i will be ordering!

      And is there something in the water out west that makes us grow weird things? I know Montana has got a few superfund sites..and wyoming does that mining thing....;P but dang the scenery is beautiful!!!

      xoxo

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  25. Oh my word..... At last word from the homeland.......missed you but am stealing your title - not your life- I must catch up on my postless blog also.....glad your well-that little pouch aside---oh my the adventures-something's to get you through the long long long long winters days......stay well my feral friend....

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    1. Steal it away, Rain! Its a title worth repeating in everyones life LOL Dont we all just wish summer would last and last...to at least get things done that we wanted to in good weather :P

      xoxo

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  26. I'm SO SO SO happy that your lump punch came back benign. Doing a happy dance with a yippy hug thrown in for good measure!

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    1. well annette...im not exactly doing the happy dance well lol but i can do the shuffle dance with you! :D

      xoxo

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  27. There's never a dull moment in your neck of the woods, is there?! Sounds like you've had lots of adventures out there in the wild wild west! :) It's always good to see a new post from you. Sooooo glad to hear your results are good!!

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    Replies
    1. Thanks Alicia! Mr. foresterman keeps prodding me to write novels, as nobody would ever believe that we could have as much adventures as physically possible LOL

      xox

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  28. Hello my feral friend, thank you so much for your comment so now I have a scientific explanation to why I lost 19 lbs this summer and all the new jeans I bought this spring now quickly are becoming 'pants on the ground.' I have missed you so much and I'm so glad you had a crazy, but wonderful summer, a great wedding, and a benign cyst. Was it a corgi with a tail or without? I knew one once, it had the softest fur I ever petted. Hope you get one soon. He will herd your cats, or think he is herding them while they may be of a different opinion, being cats and all. Love you my friend.

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  29. Does it say 19 lbs? I meant to say ten pounds, but those keys are so close together. Just writing to you is making me feel much better this morning.

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    Replies
    1. Well, 19 sounds more dramatic and makes for a good story...but i have never known for you to HAVE to embellish... LOL

      XOXO

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  30. The bull would only get loose at a rodeo you were at just so you had something to tell us on your blog and you're right...why would they play Whitney Houston?????

    Glad you're benign.

    Welcome back.

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    Replies
    1. Is Benign as close as i can get to "normal"?

      xoxo

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  31. I'm back! Looks to me like you still have a lot of friends....

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  32. Love the Ro-De-O run down....typical Montana style...never can tell what will happen. Best to have a six pack besides ya!!

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    Replies
    1. omgosh I didnt even think to pack a 6-pack! Im going to have to learn a few new tricks out here for sure :D

      xoxo

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  33. This is exactly why I love reading your blog...you can't make this stuff up, folks!

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    Replies
    1. Drama can be painful though! Especially when blogging about it....;p
      xoxo

      Delete
  34. Well, you have been through a very "interesting" time, haven't you?! Welcome back; glad to see you again!

    Blessings and Bear hugs!

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I am feral, so although I dont respond at all like most domesticated bloggers, I will try my best - Thank you for even wanting to leave a comment, as it may draw me out from the woods from whence I came!

Or under a rock, it depends most days...