"Feral ~ from feminine of ferus wild: having escaped from domestication and become wild"...




Friday

Okay. This is going to be one of those blog posts that feels like you just ran into me at the grocery store, 
and Im gonna fill you in in 30 minutes or less because, well, time. 

And MY time is a selfish bore.
Im multi-tasking even in my SLEEP. 

so first, pleasantries, because i may be feral, but i am trained by mother humans-

 "OH, HIIIIiiiiii! How are you??? 

*gives hug, leans back, nodding head, shifting feet while waiting for your response, 
maybe snatch a bag of doritos off the shelf to put into basket*


"Well we are fine too, thanks for asking!" 
(you did ask, right? sometimes I get that part screwed up)

drinking may not be optional at this point.

SO This anyhow is the part that is always dangerous. 
 Especially if you see me smiling a lot by myself before you acknowledge me. 
Thats why you strangers out there should never approach if people are smiling to themselves...
im gonna be one of those dangerous little old ladies one day.

well, maybe not one day.

If you ask how im doing,

IM GOING TO TELL YOU.



 it begins...


"Well first off, Abby & David are getting Married THIS SUMMER! 
Next Month! Its an organized elopement with a wonderful dinner planned afterwards!
we are so excited!


*meanwhile thinking of the new earrings & statement necklace 
that matches the kelp dress to wear to Abby & Davids organized elopement...* 



 Anyhow, unfortunately for you, You nod, smile and realize you will be standing here for awhile.



*takes deep breath to continue*


"And another wonderful thing is David will be teaching in Wisconsin this fall! 
So no more Arizona and its 13 poisonous and/or dangerous wild critters! 
Abby is already looking at houses!
And Annabel & Chris?  
Well, Christopher finished TOP in his class for his medical exams,
 and Annabel recently got a new job as a Data Management HR Manager, 
so they be doing okay in Grand Forks!

We're so proud of all of them!"

 you smile. I smile.

You tell me about your kids.

I be bad.

my mind drifts. 

a lot.


*moving on to shoes. Should it be the GUESS calf skin platforms that are so comfortable...*


You have now been taken hostage by a feral woman's selfish bore time.

 and

I recognize that I might have put myself into an awkward position since i think I might have been caught "dual thinking" 
(which is not to be confused with ADHD or daydreaming. really.) 
so I think of a diversion!

more talking!

"Oh, thats fantastic! Well, Mr. Foresterman and I have been so busy! We finally are able to order all the doors that were damaged from that wildfire we lived through, FINALLY! We'll be putting them in with some help; no one wants to drive out to our place, go figure!"


"And then we are busy getting equipment ready for haying; looks to be a gangbuster year - did you see the waist high sweet clover this year?"


"oh my, and the landscaping, we are finally gettting to the landscaping that never has been done - I bought wrought iron fence and an arbor to put up, staining concrete blocks, planting new trees, shrubs and roses - so much work needs to be done! 
Im trying not to get too damaged up, the organized elopement you know"




*pauses for air, lets you speak, blah blah blah, nods, while thinking about shoes again*



*maybe the gold gladiator sandals...*


However, Since You recognize a short attention span when you see one,
and articulate enough to steer feral animals, 
you ask me how my animals are doing....

You asked.
Not my fault.


"Horses are doing good - love the new one, Frostig! Eb's has issues with his lungs now, probably from the fire, so we have him on allergy meds.  we also have him on weight watchers...LOL"



"And the new cat georgy? Tomaz loves her!"

"in fact, do you have time?"



Even if you said no,  i would still continue.

total social interaction oblivion syndrome, you know.  

Didnt realize youd be learning so many feral traits today, did you?

"dual thinking"

"Total social interaction oblivion syndrome" 

etc.

What was i saying?

OH yes!



"She actually saved our lives!  

"One morning I opened the east french doors, and heard a loud noise.  I asked Mr. Foresterman what is that, is it a snake? And he said no, Cicada's. But I stepped outside and saw that Georgy had pinned a 12 button rattler against the side exterior door! So poor Mr. Foresterman told me to go and get my .22 while he grabbed Georgy.  He learned to never grab a cat that is intensely watching a rattlesnake that day - he has a great cat claw tattoo on his palm for the organized elopement...anyhow Our nice neighbor to the north, DD, said that cats will always tell you where the snakes are, and she was right! Georgy saved us from stepping on that Rattler! Of course later we had a great debate on nature versus nuture - its apparent he was raised to believe loud rattles are cicadas, because well, Wisconsin, so nuture, and I, being a feral woman, knew it had to be a rattler, that fight or flight response, so nature..."


by this time, You know that this is your social cue to wrap it up and say goodbye 
because im on a tangent that I dont recognize as one, because, well, feral. 

You thought you would get out of it that easily?

HAH!

So while you are telling me your goodbyes, Im thinking -


*definitely not the peeptoe pumps, those suckers hurt*


And since I missed the social cue that you are desperately wanting to leave,

I continue!



"Mr. Foresterman and I just got back from a trip into the Bighorn mountains, did i tell you?"

no.

I ignore the whimpering look in your eyes
thinking maybe you have indigestion
and it would be rude of me to acknowledge your supposed gas
so 

I continue.


"we stayed overnight at a fire tower! It was photographically amazing!"



"and the next morning it was my birthday!
 I was so excited that I got up at 5:30 AM 
and took lots of pictures!"


"it was absolutely fantastic!"



And at this point,

Im watching you quickly walk away
while clutching yourself with one hand,
gripping a death grip on your cart with your other,
wishing me the best through clenched teeth...

so 

I rapidly wave goodbye to your fading backside,
calling out

"see you later! take care!"
 because




I so understand.

Indigestion gets the best of us.



~



;p


~


19 comments:

  1. No way would I ever walk away from an amazing story and yours my dear is amazing, intriguing and dare I say HILARIOUS. I am a bit selfish in my own way you have probably noticed that over ou rlong friendship so I am going to tell you I like the first guess shoes and think if they were here and did not hurt my feet I would wear them to a not organized elopement:):( so much work you are lucky. I have had to learn new skills. Oh so anyway back to you.
    I am so happy you have a rattlesnake alert system now built into your house even though I still think she sleeps funny. Oh so much to say so little time so here goes. Lookin' good, get some rest, take care of critters hug that romantic guy and I know we thank God for giving us you, I have no idea how this world would be if we did not get your posts to pull us out of our own world and into yours even if you think it is selfish we are the ones laughing. I don't mind that one little bit:) Worth waiting for my friend.Hug xoxo B

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  2. WHEW!!
    Looks like we're all set for news for the next half century.
    Oh, and congratulations on many counts.

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  3. I love the way you write! My huband's co-worker's daughter lives in Montana works in forestry too. Her last name is Becker, she grew up near Wausau. Anyway, her boyfriend is a fire guy in Montana and was just in the Big Horn area. My husband saw pictures and said it was absolutely beautiful. You daughter is moving back here to WI - cool. Will be a change I'm sure!

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  4. Hey. I hung in there all the way through the good news, the cool shoes, the amazing views and the elk poos. (Although my attention shifted occasionally, but I kept nodding.) Congrats on the upcoming big events, WOW about the rattler and I'm SO jealous of your night in the tower with your handsome prince.

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  5. Holy Moley! That header shot is surreal! Happy belated birthday, I could never walk in those shoes but they are beautiful...especially the first black pair, the wedding sounds smart and adventurous, the horses and cats look very happy, love your new doors, we are ready for some hay too and I love your pre birthday overnight quarters. Keep on enjoying.

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  6. First- love love love that header photo!!!!
    And- I was right about shooting rattlesnakes and haying, I see. High five (high paw?) to Georgy for letting you know.
    Congratulations to Abby and David- and I'm voting for the comfy calf skin platforms too. The gladiator sandals are too busy looking to wear with a dress that has lots of pattern, and who wants to spend a day in shoes that hurt? So option one it is.
    Oh- and Happy Belated Birthday!!!!!

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  7. calf skin platforms....FOR SURE!!!!

    Great Post!

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  8. I saw a guy in our grocery store last year that looked like a dead ringer for Mr. Foresterman and that would probably be my luck since I'd LOVE to run into you at the grocery :-D.

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  9. Wow is right, Buttons has the right of it and I cannot believe that Georgy! A real Feral woman :) What a great place for a birthday...way better than the Hilton! Thanks for the 'rant', loved it and how in the sam hill does anyone stand never mind walk in those shoes. OK, just jealous!!

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  10. I'd enjoy running in to you at the grocery store...I learned a LOT! :) Way to go Georgy...never saw a rattler up close before, and never hope to. Glad she was ok too! And my vote is for the calf skin platforms! Have a happy weekend, and happy belated birthday!

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  11. Wow, all those shoes hurt my feet just looking at them. Sounds like a lot is going on and I'm glad for you. Lots of progress. YAY for your daughter.
    So glad to hear from you!

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  12. Well, I definitely love the Guess platforms best...and your cats are smart and cute as all get out. Congrats on the elopement, move, house looking, and Christopher- SUPER! I love to see the GREEN around your place..because I was here when you showed us the BLACK and green is so much better! I missed something, but I was listening, I promise!

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  13. I want to go spend the night in that tower! Congrats on all of the good news!

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  14. busy times! congrats to the soon to be newlyweds! Yay for new doors and brave wise kitty. and DANG GIRL !!! you have some amazing shoes!

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  15. Love the fire tower!! That's an awesome place to spend a birthday :) I dunno about those shoes though my feet hurt just seeing those heels, cant you do more like boots ;)

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  16. I am so glad your FONT has grown or I would never have been able to read all this. Which I did enjoy immensely. I wish I could go sleep in a fire tower too. That must have been awesome! I love Tomaz and Georgy Girl, what a match. I hope Ebony will get better and so glad Frostig is working out. Are you riding him?

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  17. Girl! You rock all of those shoes....but I like the first pair the best. AND you did say they were most comfortable. Life is too short to wear uncomfortable shoes or drink bad coffee. Well, it is. This post made me LOL! And I really like you, but I gotta say....you might be one of those people I see in the grocery store, and know, but just say Hi and walk on...quickly. Or LOOK intensely at the bag of Doritos, with my head hanging downward and pretend I don't see you! And I don't even like Doritos! I loved the post though....but when I'm in the grocery store, I want OUT as quickly as possible. I can't like grocery shopping! I used to see a couple of people on a regular basis, one I used to work in the same building as him, and I learned not to ask "How are you?" because I would hear about all of his aches and pains for the next half hour..... Sorry to say he passed. I felt bad. But still....it's like I don't ask my MIL how her food is at the Assisted Living place she is living at, or how are her legs.....you get it. But I L.O.V.E.D. this post!
    About the dual thinking...I do that A LOT! Too much really. I remember one time a guy was telling me how to cook some squash or something, I was working in the Community Garden at the time, and he finished and asked me a question. I blinked and said, "Steve, I'm sorry...I know it LOOKED like I was listening to you, but I didn't hear a word you said, would you mind telling me again and this time, I promise, I'll pay attention!"
    I'm sure the irony of YOU spending your BIRTHDAY in a FIRE TOWER was not missed.
    Come to think of it....I'd leave the cart where we met....and the Doritos.....and I'd say..."let's skip grocery shopping and go grap a cuppa coffee. We have some catching up to do. Our carts will still be here when we are finished!" They would be....I've done it!

    Cindy Bee

    Cindy Bee

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  18. Well, darn. My comment from before has disappeared.

    Anyhow, what I was saying is that the idea of an "organized elopement" sounds superb. And entirely feral! Well done.

    Blessings and Bear hugs to all, Janice!

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I am feral, so although I dont respond at all like most domesticated bloggers, I will try my best - Thank you for even wanting to leave a comment, as it may draw me out from the woods from whence I came!

Or under a rock, it depends most days...