"Feral ~ from feminine of ferus wild: having escaped from domestication and become wild"...




Monday

January 2012 - going SOLO - part !






















by the end of January, 
Mr. Foresterman finally figured out that 
I wasnt going to die while walking
he was more concerned that I was going to fall down 
and lose organs and bleed out and attract bears. 

But I told him I was sooo ready to walk by myself...

PLEASE!


so
he made sure I was bundled up enough to take any blows from falling,
and 
nudged me out the door with Dexterdog as my babysitter...

Dexterdog is good that way.

So this is my first solo walk into the national forest after surgery.


Anyhow, I really was looking forward to this walk - 
because I had some issues on my mind (ya think?) 
and 
i needed to work through them...

privately.


The biggest issue though,

was guilt.

you see, my life was very very very crazy then.

two weeks before my debulking surgery,

my elderly father died in Wisconsin.


My siblings decided to have his funeral for convienence sake 
at the end of October.

I was making plans to attend AFTER surgery.

But

5 days after my surgery,

I ended up with a bloodclot from ankle to groin.
the doctors said,


"no traveling; its too dangerous"


...
...
...



~



part 2 soon.




~






20 comments:

  1. loved your outing with dexterdog. yup, a good head-emptying outage.

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  2. Nice photos, such different view than we have.

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  3. Oh you And Dexterdog walking and thinking oh yes that is what you needed and just look at the beauty and wonder you found.Among all the chaos and grief you found peace.Mother Nature does that. Hugs my friend look how far you have come.Oh this is one heart tugging post,.I have dust in my eye I must have picked it up on our walk in the Montana wilderness. Beautiful..... Xoxo

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  4. Lovely photos--you made me feel I was there with you!!

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  5. beautiful photos, and as for the guilt, your dad I am sure would have far preferred you stay home and get well

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  6. Beautiful scenery in my second favorite State. Being a fly fisherman I'm more familiar with the SW portion of Montana though. Also enjoy your whimsical writing style. I Turkey post was hilarious.....;)

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  7. I can see how walking in places like this would be good therapy...and with Dexter for a babysitter, even better! They're good that way, aren't they?!

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  8. Not quite solo with Dexter there! Such a beautiful place, and it will be beautiful again even if not quite the same.

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  9. Dexter dog took good care of you and let you talk out your feelings and worries privately -together..... What a dog.....
    :)

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  10. I love hearing about Dexterdog. Would he mind if I asked how much he weighs? Samson looks fatter and fatter to me and yet eats next to nothing. I know a part is the winter coat, but still......

    Love your pictures and I hope you will feel good for a very long time to come.

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  11. Beautiful walk, and I'm sure it did you some good. I can understand how you felt about missing your fathers funeral. That must've been very hard. Hard to say good bye when you are not there to do it. BUT, I really believe your father would rather you get better than join him through the veil.

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  12. Being able to walk in places like that is a gift. Sad news and scary challenges can kinda lose their edges when there is a Big Sky and a walking companion is as accepting as yours. So glad you made it through all the fires.

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  13. The forest can be such a healing place! LOVE that golden-lit photo up top!
    - The Equestrian Vagabond

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  14. Great pictures and delightful story. I'm sure with Dexterdog around, nothing serious will befall you.

    Blessings and Bear hugs!

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  15. Thank you for taking us on tis photographic journey. Your inner self with a side of great beauty.

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  16. Lovely Pictures, great nature you have

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  17. Beautiful country for a head emptying stroll...and a good friend to keep you company and be the alert if you fall.

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  18. The end of this entry broke my heart a little. I loved seeing Dexterdog faithfully by your side through these solo photos though...

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  19. pictures are lovely. not sure how I missed this post, but playing catch up now.

    Wow that was one huge blood clot.

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  20. Beautiful pictures. Guilt never leaves you....at least it hasn't me. It may step back to the back of the brain, taking a seat but at some point it decides it needs a walk too and comes to the forefront reminding you it's still there.

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I am feral, so although I dont respond at all like most domesticated bloggers, I will try my best - Thank you for even wanting to leave a comment, as it may draw me out from the woods from whence I came!

Or under a rock, it depends most days...