"Feral ~ from feminine of ferus wild: having escaped from domestication and become wild..."


l

July 15, 2014

Organized Elopements, art fairs... and guns

update coming to you SOON!


YES REALLY, Frostig!


EXCITEMENT AWAITS!


SMOKING GUNS!



Cant you feel the excitement???


YAY!

;)



~

June 20, 2014

Okay. This is going to be one of those blog posts that feels like you just ran into me at the grocery store, 
and Im gonna fill you in in 30 minutes or less because, well, time. 

And MY time is a selfish bore.
Im multi-tasking even in my SLEEP. 

so first, pleasantries, because i may be feral, but i am trained by mother humans-

 "OH, HIIIIiiiiii! How are you??? 

*gives hug, leans back, nodding head, shifting feet while waiting for your response, 
maybe snatch a bag of doritos off the shelf to put into basket*


"Well we are fine too, thanks for asking!" 
(you did ask, right? sometimes I get that part screwed up)

drinking may not be optional at this point.

SO This anyhow is the part that is always dangerous. 
 Especially if you see me smiling a lot by myself before you acknowledge me. 
Thats why you strangers out there should never approach if people are smiling to themselves...
im gonna be one of those dangerous little old ladies one day.

well, maybe not one day.

If you ask how im doing,

IM GOING TO TELL YOU.



 it begins...


"Well first off, Abby & David are getting Married THIS SUMMER! 
Next Month! Its an organized elopement with a wonderful dinner planned afterwards!
we are so excited!


*meanwhile thinking of the new earrings & statement necklace 
that matches the kelp dress to wear to Abby & Davids organized elopement...* 



 Anyhow, unfortunately for you, You nod, smile and realize you will be standing here for awhile.



*takes deep breath to continue*


"And another wonderful thing is David will be teaching in Wisconsin this fall! 
So no more Arizona and its 13 poisonous and/or dangerous wild critters! 
Abby is already looking at houses!
And Annabel & Chris?  
Well, Christopher finished TOP in his class for his medical exams,
 and Annabel recently got a new job as a Data Management HR Manager, 
so they be doing okay in Grand Forks!

We're so proud of all of them!"

 you smile. I smile.

You tell me about your kids.

I be bad.

my mind drifts. 

a lot.


*moving on to shoes. Should it be the GUESS calf skin platforms that are so comfortable...*


You have now been taken hostage by a feral woman's selfish bore time.

 and

I recognize that I might have put myself into an awkward position since i think I might have been caught "dual thinking" 
(which is not to be confused with ADHD or daydreaming. really.) 
so I think of a diversion!

more talking!

"Oh, thats fantastic! Well, Mr. Foresterman and I have been so busy! We finally are able to order all the doors that were damaged from that wildfire we lived through, FINALLY! We'll be putting them in with some help; no one wants to drive out to our place, go figure!"


"And then we are busy getting equipment ready for haying; looks to be a gangbuster year - did you see the waist high sweet clover this year?"


"oh my, and the landscaping, we are finally gettting to the landscaping that never has been done - I bought wrought iron fence and an arbor to put up, staining concrete blocks, planting new trees, shrubs and roses - so much work needs to be done! 
Im trying not to get too damaged up, the organized elopement you know"




*pauses for air, lets you speak, blah blah blah, nods, while thinking about shoes again*



*maybe the gold gladiator sandals...*


However, Since You recognize a short attention span when you see one,
and articulate enough to steer feral animals, 
you ask me how my animals are doing....

You asked.
Not my fault.


"Horses are doing good - love the new one, Frostig! Eb's has issues with his lungs now, probably from the fire, so we have him on allergy meds.  we also have him on weight watchers...LOL"



"And the new cat georgy? Tomaz loves her!"

"in fact, do you have time?"



Even if you said no,  i would still continue.

total social interaction oblivion syndrome, you know.  

Didnt realize youd be learning so many feral traits today, did you?

"dual thinking"

"Total social interaction oblivion syndrome" 

etc.

What was i saying?

OH yes!



"She actually saved our lives!  

"One morning I opened the east french doors, and heard a loud noise.  I asked Mr. Foresterman what is that, is it a snake? And he said no, Cicada's. But I stepped outside and saw that Georgy had pinned a 12 button rattler against the side exterior door! So poor Mr. Foresterman told me to go and get my .22 while he grabbed Georgy.  He learned to never grab a cat that is intensely watching a rattlesnake that day - he has a great cat claw tattoo on his palm for the organized elopement...anyhow Our nice neighbor to the north, DD, said that cats will always tell you where the snakes are, and she was right! Georgy saved us from stepping on that Rattler! Of course later we had a great debate on nature versus nuture - its apparent he was raised to believe loud rattles are cicadas, because well, Wisconsin, so nuture, and I, being a feral woman, knew it had to be a rattler, that fight or flight response, so nature..."


by this time, You know that this is your social cue to wrap it up and say goodbye 
because im on a tangent that I dont recognize as one, because, well, feral. 

You thought you would get out of it that easily?

HAH!

So while you are telling me your goodbyes, Im thinking -


*definitely not the peeptoe pumps, those suckers hurt*


And since I missed the social cue that you are desperately wanting to leave,

I continue!



"Mr. Foresterman and I just got back from a trip into the Bighorn mountains, did i tell you?"

no.

I ignore the whimpering look in your eyes
thinking maybe you have indigestion
and it would be rude of me to acknowledge your supposed gas
so 

I continue.


"we stayed overnight at a fire tower! It was photographically amazing!"



"and the next morning it was my birthday!
 I was so excited that I got up at 5:30 AM 
and took lots of pictures!"


"it was absolutely fantastic!"



And at this point,

Im watching you quickly walk away
while clutching yourself with one hand,
gripping a death grip on your cart with your other,
wishing me the best through clenched teeth...

so 

I rapidly wave goodbye to your fading backside,
calling out

"see you later! take care!"
 because




I so understand.

Indigestion gets the best of us.



~



;p


~


MY LIFE MOTTO's


"That was my fathers final joke I guess. A man tells his stories so many times, he becomes the stories...

they live on after him... and in that way, he becomes immortal."

~ Will Bloom; "Big Fish"


AND


"Those are my principles, and if you dont like them... I have others..."


~ Groucho Marx